This is Grýla, an Icelandic monster who ate bad children before Christmas.
You better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
Or an Icelandic monster will fucking eat you.
The mom doesn’t even look panicked she’s just “Sigh. Goddamn it Jimmy I fucking told you.”
Oldest surviving English cookbook
Medieval kings had to eat too. And because of their status, they could choose from an impressive selection of great dishes. That is essentially what you get from browsing this unusual medieval book. Written in Middle English and dating from c. 1390, it is the oldest surviving cookbook in the English language. There are older English recipes to be found, but the images above show the oldest example of a book specially made to contain food recipes. While it may not look like a royal book - with its plain appearance it is the opposite of the glossy cookbooks today - it was made for a king: the English monarch Richard II. It shows what dishes were put in front of him, like the one displayed in the top image, mackerel in sauce: “take mackerel and chop into pieces. Place in water and verjuice and boil them with mint and with other herbs. Colour it green or yellow and serve it forth.” A recipe so simple, the dish almost cooks itself.
Pic: Manchester, John Rylands Library, English MS 7. More information on the book here. A full digital version is found here. If you want to try to cook this particular recipe, a modern translation is found here (also the source of the quote).
Reasons for admission to the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, 1864-1889—some highlights
- Deranged masturbation
- Uterine derangement
- Women trouble
- Imaginary female trouble
- Fell from horse in war
- Over study of religion
- Novel reading
- Seduction & Disappointment